In the hospital, baby was breastfed exclusively. He was being pushed into our ward every other hour. He looked like a peaceful, innocent angel. We couldn't have held him more, each moment he was with us.
I didn't feel tired and continued to receive guests. It wasn't till the epidural wearer off when I felt the aftermath of delivery and epistomy. It was so painful that I could not sleep at night and ended up asking for an ice-pad to numb the pain. After the pee bag was removed, I dare not pee or poo. Upon discharge, the doctor had to ask the nurse to inject medicine into my anus and the motion came without control.
Day 3 - Day 4
No one has ever told us that babies go into hunger strike when they reach home nor scream/cry "murder" when they are hungry. Or perhaps my son had a temper of his own. I remember waking up every hour to breastfeed him. My nipples were sore and painful. At the same time I was light headed and cranky from the frequent waking and endless crying. I wanted to give up, to throw my temper at my son asking him to shut up, hoping that he remains in my tummy forever.
Hubby and I were fighting on the topic of exclusive breastfeeding, nipple confusion when formula fed (since he's been crying non stop in hunger) and the downside of formula compared to breastmilk. We even paid for lactation consultation the next day to ensure I was latching him correctly.
No matter how exhausted I was, I didn't complain nor shed a tear. It wasn't till the PD who called us, telling us that my son had to be admitted for jaundice phototherapy. I cried. I cried so hard. It wasn't because I was going to away from my son but because I knew I was finally able to rest. I cried because I was guilty for thinking this way.
While he was admitted, we bought a manual pump to test how much breastmilk I had and prolong our breastfeeding journey.
While he was admitted, we bought a manual pump to test how much breastmilk I had and prolong our breastfeeding journey.
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