Week 23: Passing of Mr Lee Kuan Yew

23 March 2015: Passing of Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Jayden did not have the honor of meeting this well respected minister nor was he old enough now to understand his contributions to Singapore. But at least we managed to brace the heavy rain and  was honored to send  him off in his last journey.

Dear son, in summary this is what Mr Lee had done for us. Be thankful, be grateful. 

Week 22: Holding out

On day 2 this week, the monster is starting to choose people to carry him. On this day he stretched out his arms, crying into my eyes asking me to carry him.

Week 20: Frustrations

Motherhood is such a complex and tiring process. Do you know how it feels like ? On call for 24 hours. It's super frustrating when your child is fussy after you became all cranky from the lack of sleep for the past few months. It's especially annoying when you are one of the two people in the house that can make your child sleep. It's worst when you are try to get a light sleeper baby to sleep and others are just not sensitive enough to minimize their noise as they carry on with their activities.

I cannot remember when was the last time I had a peaceful sleep through the night. Having to wake up feeling fresh and recharged. I could not focus at work, my memory fails me and I feel so lethargic at work. I am just so sick and tired of having mother duties.



Yes, I am lucky that my in-law has a helper that is willing to help us take care while I worked. I thank God for her.

No I don't  hate my baby, I am just being very frustrated having to become a mother. I love my baby.

Week 18: Crawling

Little Jayden is starting to crawl. Although the movement is barely an inch. Seeing him learn to crawl reminds me of a worm moving. How their butt arch up before the arm helps them move forward.

Week 3: Horrible Colic

It's my birthday week ! But unfortunately my father in law passed away this week. The family has been busy with the preparation of the 5 days funeral and receiving guests. So its mostly the nanny and myself with the baby.

After the funeral was over, there comes the terrible part. The big C. Colic. 

Its really no joke when a baby cries for no apparent reason. Diapers checked. Milk checked. Sleep checked. Temperature checked. It's non stop crying/ screaming that can drive you nuts. 

Week 17: 2nd Vaccination

The PD scheduled for his vaccination this week so he is more immune to virus and germs with the increased contact with people during Chinese new year.

At the clinic, he kept "conversing" with this particular mother about 30 secs to a min. He is also starting to prefer walking than to crawl.

Week 15: Crossroads

After 3 weeks of working, I am still readjusting to a life as a working mum. Of course mil fraction starts to set in when she mentioned it's a wife duty to make breakfast for her husband. Does she even understand what it's means to be a working mum.

In her time she doesn't need to juggling with both since her mother is taking care for her. I didn't feel it was fair for me. 

Week 18: Crawling & Cold

Its our 1st Chinese New Year spent as a family. A husband and a son. It's also the 1st time Jayden met our relatives. He has received many comments saying he is so cute and lovable.

This week, he is starting to crawl inch by inch. Left his side a while and he was already at the side of the bed.

Daddy caught a bad cold bug from relives during CNY and passed it to little Jayden. Now he is running mild cold. His little nose is congested with mucus and its hard for him to breathe while sleeping

Week 13: Babbling, Turning and Kicking

Little monster has started to babble a lot which can last up to half a minute at a go. He seems like he is trying to tell us something and as though what he said made sense.

His legs are definitely becoming stronger and kicks becoming more powerful.

He also has been practicing his turning a lot by turning to his sides. I believe it's going to be any time soon when he can flip over on his own :)

Daily Routine @ Week 13
8 am: Rise and Shine
10am: Bathe
10.15 am: Feed 100ml
10.30am - 1pm: Morning Nap (Either 1 hour or 30 mins X 2 times)
1pm: Feed 100ml
2pm - 3.30pm: Afternoon Nap
3.30 pm: Feed 100ml
3.30pm - 6.30pm: Evening Nap
6.30pm: Feed 100ml
8pm: Wash Up
8.30pm: Feed 100ml
9pm: Put to Sleep
10pm: Transferred to Cot
1am: Feed
4 am: Feed
6 am: Feed

Week 14: Flipped Over

27 Jan 2015: Week 14 Day 5

Received a text at work from hubby saying that little monster has just flipped onto his tummy on his own ! He was lying by his side when he was shocked how he had turned. Although his hand gets a bit stuck in the midst.


Daily Routine @ Week 14
8 am: Rise and Shine
10am: Bathe
10.15 am: Feed
10.30am - 1pm: Morning Nap (Either 1 hour or 30 mins X 2 times)
1pm: Feed
2pm - 3.30pm: Afternoon Nap
3.30 pm: Feed
3.30pm - 6.30pm: Evening Nap
6.30pm: Feed
8pm: Wash Up
8.30pm: Feed
9pm: Put to Sleep
10pm: Transferred to Cot
1am: Feed
4 am: Feed
6 am: Feed

*Routine similar to week 13
*Feeding at 120ml
*Feeding Interval 2.5 - 3 hours

Week 12: Back at Work

Little Monster just found out both his hands can actually work together. He has been clasping and playing with his hands a lot. He has also been stuffing his little fist into his mouth a lot lately.

It's been 3 months since I last work. I wonder how can I cope with afternoon naps and additional stress from work. Been taking free money for too long. It's daunting how our lives would change at home once I resume work.
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Well, 1st week at work and things at home didn't turn out as bad as I imagined it to be. Auntie Nora even managed to cook dinner dish by dish while he slept.

Good news is it seems like his colic has gone off on its own ! Horray !!!! I hope this is a better start to our mother-son relationship.

Week 1: Back home & Jaundice

Day 1 - Day 2 (In the hospital)

In the hospital, baby was breastfed exclusively. He was being pushed into our ward every other hour. He looked like a peaceful, innocent angel. We couldn't have held him more, each moment he was with us. 

I didn't feel tired and continued to receive guests. It wasn't till the epidural wearer off when I felt the aftermath of delivery and epistomy. It was so painful that I could not sleep at night and ended up asking for an ice-pad to numb the pain. After the pee bag was removed, I dare not pee or poo. Upon discharge, the doctor had to ask the nurse to inject medicine into my anus and the motion came without control. 

Day 3 - Day 4

No one has ever told us that babies go into hunger strike when they reach home nor scream/cry "murder" when they are hungry. Or perhaps my son had a temper of his own. I remember waking up every hour to breastfeed him. My nipples were sore and painful. At the same time I was light headed and cranky from the frequent waking and endless crying. I wanted to give up, to throw my temper at my son asking him to shut up, hoping that he remains in my tummy forever. 

Hubby and I were fighting on the topic of exclusive breastfeeding, nipple confusion when formula fed (since he's been crying non stop in hunger) and the downside of formula compared to breastmilk. We even paid for lactation consultation the next day to ensure I was latching him correctly.

No matter how exhausted I was, I didn't complain nor shed a tear. It wasn't till the PD who called us, telling us that my son had to be admitted for jaundice phototherapy. I cried. I cried so hard. It wasn't because I was going to away from my son but because I knew I was finally able to rest. I cried because I was guilty for thinking this way.

While he was admitted, we bought a manual pump to test how much breastmilk I had and prolong our breastfeeding journey. 

Pregnancy Week 39: Day of Delivery

16 October 2014

12:00hrs
The contractions came and go. Interval of about 20mins -1hour each lasting about 30secs to a min. I was going for my scheduled gynae check when the doctor told me I am 2.5cm dilated. I could either admit myself right away and get induced or wait till I cannot take the pain. I choose to return to the comfort of my own home rather than wait it out at the hospital.

17 October 2014

00:00hrs
The frequency and duration of pain remains the same as the afternoon. The pain was bearable and I even managed to sleep.

04:00hrs - The pain became more intense that i drifted in and out of sleep. At some point, I was shivering in pain.

06:00hrs - Hubby woke up for work and asked how was I feeling. I knew the pain was becoming unbearable so I suggest admitting to hospital.

09:00hrs - Arrival at hospital and had to wait for an empty delivery suite.

11:30hrs - I was being administered epidural and gynae came for a check. I was 5cm dilated.

11:45hrs - Vomited once due to side effect of epidural and there was blood in my pee bag. I think they gave me drip to induce the labour too. By the way I was so so hungry but I cannot take any food.

14:15hrs - I was looking pale and baby heartbeat low so I was given oxygen supply. The nurses assisted to help the "push" when baby's head is engaged while they ask the gynae to come back

15:15hrs - Gynae came back and I was 9cm dilated. We continued with the "push" but the baby wasn't coming out. I was really pushing with every inch of my muscle but I couldn't feel a thing on my lower part of the body. We ended up having to use assisted delivery of a vacuum as baby's heart beat was getting low.

15:50hrs - Jayden was born weighing 2.83kg. I teared when he came out. I didn't know what or how to feel. The nurses cleaned him, checked him and warmed him. I wasn't offered skin to skin contact which is something I regret to date. Hubby carried him to me after a while.